Quote: Blaise Pascal

When we wish to correct with advantage and to show another that he errs, we must notice from what side he views the matter, for on that side it is usually true, and admit that truth to him, but reveal to him the side on which it is false. He is satisfied with that, for he sees that he was not mistaken and that he only failed to see all sides. Now, no one is offended at not seeing everything; but one does not like to be mistaken, and that perhaps arises from the fact that man naturally cannot see everything, and that naturally he cannot err in the side he looks at, since the perceptions of our senses are always true.

This is from Pascal’s apologist philosophical tract Pensées, section 9. Pascal is a small headache and I don’t agree with him entirely, but he has some excellent insight, and the above I find absolutely critical as a strategy for settling disputes. Unless your antagonist is completely insane, sub-humanly stupid, or simply out to obstruct and deceive you, the odds that he is completely wrong in his views are minimal; much more likely that he has some shred of the truth, as John Mill might say, or that his analysis is true from a specific set of first principles and assumptions, which you do not share. Since you’re both more or less right, merely standing on different planets, you’ll never resolve anything by arguing across each other; you’ve got to come to common terms, whereupon you can at least decide where your point of deviation is.